The Things We Tell Ourselves
Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love. - Brené Brown
We all talk to ourselves. We have these inner conversations, not because we are crazy, but because we are normal.
Many of the messages are repetitious. These are the things we tell ourselves over and over. They can be negative or positive. It could be a hurtful remark someone inflicted upon us in our childhood or something inciteful and encouraging we read in a book.
What we keep telling ourselves shapes our life. So, it’s a good idea to examine these oft repeated messages.
Is it true?
Is it positive and helpful or depressing and defeatist?
Does it keep us stuck or move us forward?
Should I keep repeating it or come up with a counter message to replace it?
There is a lot of chatter in my head. Being something of a perfectionist, I tend to focus on what is not perfect and that’s a lot. So, I have come up with counter messages, new things I keep telling myself. Like…
Peace, Love, and Joy.
These are attitudes based upon how I understand God and Jesus and his effect upon my life. God and I are not enemies. He is not mad at me. Quite the opposite. He couldn’t love me more. With those things understood, I experience a lot of joy in life. This is not just a message to cling to inwardly, but one to be lived outwardly by bringing, peace, love, and joy to others.
Create, Relate, Recreate
These three words are my reminder to live a healthy and balanced life. If I am not in a good place, it is hard to have a positive impact on others. Doing these things keeps me healthy and strong. They are therapeutic. I need to create something. I need to connect with others. I need to do things that are restorative.
Read a book.
Call a friend.
Go for a walk.
A few days ago, I was listening to an NPR program as I was getting ready for the day. The topic was happiness, and the interviewees were “happiness experts.” At the end of the show, the host gave each of them a mere minute to sum up with something memorable. One of the three was super brief and memorable speaking the three short sentences above. If heeded, they will go a long way in keeping our mind active and open to new ideas, keeping our connection with people that is so fulfilling, and keeping us restored by natural beauty and movement.
You can think of this self-talk as a mantra. We all need to come up with some helpful things to keep telling ourselves.
Yes, very good. Such an easy thing, yet many of us forget to think on these things. I like it, create, relate, recreate...and peace, love, joy. Good article.